Will Someone Please Buy These Prairie Dresses for Your Daughters?

Alas, I have no daughters. But if I did, you can be sure they'd be getting prairie girl dresses (a la Laura and Mary Ingalls) this Christmas.

What I wouldn't have given to have my very own Laura Ingalls costume as a child! This could have taken the "pioneer" game that my brother and I played as kids, to new and exciting levels. I could don my cotton dress, bonnet and apron, gather up my Cabbage Patch dolls who would surely be wearing their own prairie girl dresses, and we could do all the things that they did on my favorite show, Little House on the Prairie. Like milk the cows, eat horehound candy, dance a jig while Pa plays the fiddle, call in the cattle at dusk ("Hooey! Hooey! Hyaww!!") and other fun, prairie-girl themed activities.

Back when I was nursing my son, I had to figure out a way to pass the time and so I got back into Little House because one of the cable TV channels was showing reruns every night around dinner time. It was just as good as I remembered it!!

Thankfully, some lady out there (actually, a lot of them if you can believe this) is as excited about prairie girl dresses as I am... and she's made some for your own little prairie girls to dress up in!

Order your own pioneer girl dress, apron and bonnet for Christmas! In girls' size small thru large.

Jingle Bells, Batman Smells

I just Googled "Jingle Bells, Batman Smells," and I came upon this uber-nerdy, and when I say uber-nerdy I actually mean awesome, person who chronicled the history of this hilarious, Christmas-song parody that has been passed down through generations from US coast to coast, and just won't die.

My son sings Jingle Bells, Batman Smells. Why? Because I taught it to him. Nothing like a rollicking round of that famous chorus to break up the monotony of the day.

Let's all sing it now.

Jingle bells, Batman smells
Robin laid an egg
Batmobile lost a wheel
And the Joker got away
Hey!

I've been pondering how it can be that people keep this amusing, superhero-offending little ditty alive, year after year, generation after generation.

I think that Jingle Bells, Batman Smells satisfies some sort of inner need to mercilessly mock the world's revered role models while simultaneously bastardizing an iconic Christmas song. Mockery and bastardization rank as two of some of the most satisfying pastimes. Also, the Joker is the clear winner in all this, which is somehow gratifying.

Nothing odd about these two.

Batman and his faithful sidekick, Robin, are two grown men in tights who sport colorful masks and capes, while running around claiming to fight crime. I would also like to point out that they wear their underwear on the outside of their clothes.

My son dresses like this sometimes, but he is six.

Breaking this down further... let us examine the actual lyrics of said schoolyard rhyme. A revered American hero, Batman, discovers that he has an odor problem. Then his faithful sidekick, Robin, flatulates. Or, rather, does he ovulate? I'm not sure if "laid an egg" is meant to be taken literally but it's certainly fun to ponder.

Next, our two heroes get into a car accident, and their arch enemy, the Joker, without whom I'd like to point out there would be no purpose at all to their crime fighting agenda, yet again slips away into the night to continue wreaking havoc on the world.

(I don't know why it has to be night. Isn't it always night-time in the world of Batman and Robin?)

I think, also, that Jingle Bells, Batman Smells lives on because in our homogenized modern society where no matter what you say, you're bound to offend somebody, this is an opportunity to ridicule two bizarrely dressed boy-men without anyone having ANY problem with it!!

Why? Because they don't even exist!

Jingle bells, Batman smells... it just feels to good to sing it.

Did you sing Jingle Bells, Batman Smells in the schoolyard growing up? Do you have an "alternate version"? Do your kids sing it now?

Post in the comments, or share on Facebook.


xo,
Mom

Bring Back Romper Room!

Tonight my kindergartner and I took a trip down memory lane (my memories, not his of course!) and watched a full episode of Romper Room from 1984. Actually, I was too old in 1984 to watch this show anymore, but I couldn't find any full episodes from 1978 or 1979.

My son was as delighted with Romper Room as I was at his age, listening intently to Ms. Mary Ann teach, watching the little storytime vignettes, doing all the dances and exercises along with the kids, and generally enjoying all the age-appropriate material. And, like me when I was six, he too was completely mesmerized by the Magic Mirror, awaiting the mention of his name, along with the names of all his special people, with eager anticipation.

As I watched, I went back in time to sing along with my kindergarten self at all the songs I still remember by heart, such as "Bend and stretch, reach for the stars... here comes Jupiter, there goes Mars!" and "Romper bomper, stomper, boo. Tell me, tell me, tell me, do...." And I was surprised
to reacquaint with a regular character on the show that I had NOT  thought about again since childhood... Doo-Bee, the woman-in-black-tights wearing a paper mache bumblebee mask/head and miming along/doing movements to songs with the kids on the show. Remember Doo-Bee, the happy dancing bumblebee?

This show struck me as being extra awesome because of all the valuable content. They covered every topic of interest, with suggestions for what to do on a day when you're bored, good nutrition, exercise, how to patch it up after an argument with a friend, and more. And the kids on the show were actually local guests from schools around NJ, were they not? I'm not sure where Romper Room was filmed, but I'm assuming it was either NY or NJ because I did catch a mention of the Turtle Back Zoo.

Anyway, if you want a blast from your childhood past that puts a smile on your face and reminds you of simpler times, then check out the above episodes of Romper Room! Even cooler if you can do as I did, and watch with your kindergartner.

Whatever it is I think I see becomes a Tootsie Roll to me

So, I pretty much always have jingles from vintage TV commercials constantly running through my head. And why not? Songs on TV actually sounded good back then! Can we bring back classic jingles... please? For the love of my 40-something ears.