Frank Sinatra - It was a Very Good Year

When I was seventeen, it was a very good year
It was a very good year for small town girls
And soft summer nights
We'd hide from the lights
On the village green
When I was seventeen
When I was twenty-one, it was a very good year
It was a very good year for city girls
Who lived up the stairs
With all that perfumed hair
And it came undone
When I was twenty-one
When I was thirty-five, it was a very good year
It was a very good year for blue-blooded girls
Of independent means
We'd ride in limousines
Their chauffeurs would drive
When I was thirty-five
But now the days are short, I'm in the autumn of my years
And I think of my life as vintage wine
From fine old kegs
From the brim to the dregs
It poured sweet and clear
It was a very good year

Jingle Bells, Batman Smells

I just Googled "Jingle Bells, Batman Smells," and I came upon this uber-nerdy, and when I say uber-nerdy I actually mean awesome, person who chronicled the history of this hilarious, Christmas-song parody that has been passed down through generations from US coast to coast, and just won't die.

My son sings Jingle Bells, Batman Smells. Why? Because I taught it to him. Nothing like a rollicking round of that famous chorus to break up the monotony of the day.

Let's all sing it now.

Jingle bells, Batman smells
Robin laid an egg
Batmobile lost a wheel
And the Joker got away
Hey!

I've been pondering how it can be that people keep this amusing, superhero-offending little ditty alive, year after year, generation after generation.

I think that Jingle Bells, Batman Smells satisfies some sort of inner need to mercilessly mock the world's revered role models while simultaneously bastardizing an iconic Christmas song. Mockery and bastardization rank as two of some of the most satisfying pastimes. Also, the Joker is the clear winner in all this, which is somehow gratifying.

Nothing odd about these two.

Batman and his faithful sidekick, Robin, are two grown men in tights who sport colorful masks and capes, while running around claiming to fight crime. I would also like to point out that they wear their underwear on the outside of their clothes.

My son dresses like this sometimes, but he is six.

Breaking this down further... let us examine the actual lyrics of said schoolyard rhyme. A revered American hero, Batman, discovers that he has an odor problem. Then his faithful sidekick, Robin, flatulates. Or, rather, does he ovulate? I'm not sure if "laid an egg" is meant to be taken literally but it's certainly fun to ponder.

Next, our two heroes get into a car accident, and their arch enemy, the Joker, without whom I'd like to point out there would be no purpose at all to their crime fighting agenda, yet again slips away into the night to continue wreaking havoc on the world.

(I don't know why it has to be night. Isn't it always night-time in the world of Batman and Robin?)

I think, also, that Jingle Bells, Batman Smells lives on because in our homogenized modern society where no matter what you say, you're bound to offend somebody, this is an opportunity to ridicule two bizarrely dressed boy-men without anyone having ANY problem with it!!

Why? Because they don't even exist!

Jingle bells, Batman smells... it just feels to good to sing it.

Did you sing Jingle Bells, Batman Smells in the schoolyard growing up? Do you have an "alternate version"? Do your kids sing it now?

Post in the comments, or share on Facebook.


xo,
Mom

Bring Back Romper Room!

Tonight my kindergartner and I took a trip down memory lane (my memories, not his of course!) and watched a full episode of Romper Room from 1984. Actually, I was too old in 1984 to watch this show anymore, but I couldn't find any full episodes from 1978 or 1979.

My son was as delighted with Romper Room as I was at his age, listening intently to Ms. Mary Ann teach, watching the little storytime vignettes, doing all the dances and exercises along with the kids, and generally enjoying all the age-appropriate material. And, like me when I was six, he too was completely mesmerized by the Magic Mirror, awaiting the mention of his name, along with the names of all his special people, with eager anticipation.

As I watched, I went back in time to sing along with my kindergarten self at all the songs I still remember by heart, such as "Bend and stretch, reach for the stars... here comes Jupiter, there goes Mars!" and "Romper bomper, stomper, boo. Tell me, tell me, tell me, do...." And I was surprised
to reacquaint with a regular character on the show that I had NOT  thought about again since childhood... Doo-Bee, the woman-in-black-tights wearing a paper mache bumblebee mask/head and miming along/doing movements to songs with the kids on the show. Remember Doo-Bee, the happy dancing bumblebee?

This show struck me as being extra awesome because of all the valuable content. They covered every topic of interest, with suggestions for what to do on a day when you're bored, good nutrition, exercise, how to patch it up after an argument with a friend, and more. And the kids on the show were actually local guests from schools around NJ, were they not? I'm not sure where Romper Room was filmed, but I'm assuming it was either NY or NJ because I did catch a mention of the Turtle Back Zoo.

Anyway, if you want a blast from your childhood past that puts a smile on your face and reminds you of simpler times, then check out the above episodes of Romper Room! Even cooler if you can do as I did, and watch with your kindergartner.

"Wrap Rage" - It's a Thing. For People Confounded by Modern Packaging

What's with packaging these days? Am I the only one who veers dangerously close to committing violence when confronted with anything that is wrapped, boxed, zip-tied and otherwise bound up in packaging? Evidently not! Wikipedia refers to this condition as "wrap rage" or "package rage". Bah, ha, ha! I relate to this in a big way, how about you?

pic from simplyfantasticbooks.wordpress.com

I don't remember packaging being an issue in "the good old days." I remember bags of potato chips that one could easily open with one's bare hands, without requiring the use of complex tools or the utterance of profanity.

I remember Christmas toys that I was able to gleefully tear out of the packaging on my own, as child. Now, not only are the kids unable to remove their own gifts from the boxes they arrive in, but parents can't do it either!

I'm not sure what happened with the packaging industry, but I feel like a joke is being played and it's on us. A mother shouldn't have to wrestle with a simple bag of snacks just to offer her child a little sustenance in the car. A person should not have to stand there at the kitchen counter, slowly starving to death while unsuccessfully trying to peel the protective inner layer of plastic wrap off their container of hummus. An Amazon box should not have to end up utterly mangled in order for its recipient to access the mail-ordered goodies inside.

In order to combat the unnecessary overzealous packaging of modern goods, I've actually had to employ a few preemptive strategies in my life.

Purchase multi-packs of kitchen shears and stash them all over the house. Two in the kitchen, on in the coffee table in the livingroom, one upstairs in the hall closet, one in the basement by the washer. This way, no matter what room you're in, you'll always have the option to wield your trusty instrument and deftly slice open whatever package is currently causing a problem for you. Except of course, for the wrapping that the shears themselves arrive in. You'll have to grapple with that for a while before you can actually utilize these handy helpers.

Open up packages well in advance of needing the items inside. This works especially well for when you're having guests over to your house. I for one have no patience for tricky packages of crackers that have been sealed with super-grip adhesive that you end up yanking every which way and breaking all the crackers inside while trying to accomplish the simple task of arranging a plate of party snacks.

Buy your husband one of those man tools. I forget what it's called, but he can put it on his belt or keep it in his pocket. It has basic handy things like a small knife, can opener, nail file and stuff like that. Whenever my husband is around and happens to see me fumbling around with a wrapped box or other packaged item, he comes through with his handy man tool and all is well in a matter of seconds.

Keep matches and lighters at the ready. This works well if you must "burn your way" through a sealed package as a last resort. Actually, I'm just kidding – I've never had to set anything on fire while attempting to procure the contents inside. But one never knows what may become of the packages of the future, so probably best to have that blowtorch waiting in the wings.

Are you confounded by modern packaged goods? What types of items do you have trouble opening, and what have you done about it?

Whatever it is I think I see becomes a Tootsie Roll to me

So, I pretty much always have jingles from vintage TV commercials constantly running through my head. And why not? Songs on TV actually sounded good back then! Can we bring back classic jingles... please? For the love of my 40-something ears.

It's Knitting Season!

I took up knitting many years ago. My progress has come along in fits and starts, but I do keep getting better at it. Even though my mom is a champion knitter and seamstress, I never felt compelled to pick up the hobby until I quit my "young people vices." So basically, when I gave up going to the bar on weekends is when knitting started to look like something I might want to do!

These days, I knit for fun and relaxation at night while watching Netflix comedy specials. Comedy is perfect to knit to because you don't have to keep your eye on the action the whole time. Also, it's funny.

The above photo is of a cabling project I'm working on. I got the pattern from a book called 99 Knit Stitches and it's become my knitter's bedside bible.


I still haven't knitted a sweater, but maybe now that I know how to cable that can be something to strive for in the future! It's hat and scarf season, and we have plenty of kids in our family to knit for. So maybe I'll just put this endless cabling mission down for a while so I can knit fun stuff for fam.

One thing I love about knitting is the kind of people I meet when I take my projects out and about. Nice ladies (and cool old men) often stop to ask about what I'm making, admire my handiwork, and share their mutual love of knitting or appreciation of handmade knitted goods.

To learn knitting on my own, I began viewing videos I came across online. The best ones I've found are from a pro knitter by the name of Amy Findlay, who runs the awesome site, KnittingHelp.com. Check out these beginner knitting videos of hers on Youtube.



Casting on is the first knitting trick you should learn. It basically means "loading" your knitting needle to begin a new project. The above video share the continental method of casting on.

Here's an "intro to knitting" video from Amy!

To learn more basics, go to Knittinghelp.com.


If you've ever wanted to become a knitter, these days you can do it without having to take formal lessons or have your female relatives hovering over your shoulder. Plenty of avid knitters are posting helpful tips on Youtube and other knitting sites!

Do you knit? What are you knitting this fall? 

xo,
Mom

Where to Get Poofy Organics in Hunterdon, NJ

Have you heard of Poofy Organics? I have to say, I really like their products. I buy the natural deodorant, nail polish, and natural perfume. If you want to get ahold of some Poofy but aren't sure where to find it, let me send you in the direction of a gal I know - Gwen Stanton. She manages a Poofy group on Facebook, and I buy through her so she gets a little commish which is always helpful for busy moms like us, trying to help support our families. I order mine by mail but I think you can also pick up.

Explore natural and organic products from Poofy Organics

Anyway, here are some photos that contain Gwen's Poofy link. If you click through and order something, you'll support her business! And of course, you'll have a great Poofy supplier in your area.

My personal Poofy recommendations:

Almond cookie scented, whipped body butter. Mmm, how decadent does that sound? Why not treat yourself, or get a head start on Christmas shopping, and buy one for a good friend?

Poofy Organics Almond Cookie Body Butter

 

Poofy's baking soda based, Max Deo has become my deodorant go-to after years of using regular antiperspirant, which stopped working for me anyway. I stash one of a few different scents in various places like my purse, makeup bag, upstairs in the bathroom, and at my computer desk.

Max Deo Natural Deodorant

I am one of those scentless people, or at least I was until I discovered Poofy Organics and essential oils. Regular perfumes give me a migraine, so I was super excited to find natural and organic products that allowed me to have a "signature scent" again! Ruggedly Natural Wood Citrus is my fave.

Ruggedly Natural Wood Citrus Cologne

Can you tell I'm on an Almond kick today? Poofy's nail polishes have really scored big in my estimation because as I mentioned, strong odors like perfume make me feel crappy. Poofy polish does have a slight odor, but it goes away really quickly and does not linger in your house!

Click to see a plethora of Poofy polishes

This is just a very small sampling of the awesome organic products you can find from Poofy Organics. Visit them at https://gwenstanton.poofyorganics.com/ to learn more, and shop for the scents and products that you like best!